Life is good... Loving being a Mother. Kallie is awesome! :D
Biggest news... I'm going back to school. I really want to finish my degree. So in a few weeks I will be juggling working full time, being a wife and Mama and part time student... yikes! lol
I'm pretty excited though. I'm just taking one online course this semester to see how it goes, and maybe bump it up to two next semester.
Work is work, but more manageable now that I have plans to go back to school and there is hope in the future that I may not have to stay here forever. lol We can't stay in this God awful recession forever. *fingers crossed*
Bottom line... the hospital has turned into a large money making business and was looking for any excuse to get rid of her. She steered clear of interventions as much as possible.
I was not alone in my passionate feelings, and overnight a support group formed that has nearly 300 people now. :D We held our first rally to try to educate the area about birthing options and vitally important it is to have a care provider to advocate for the patient's rights and that will respect their needs. It made the local news and we have the local newspapers following us as well!
It has been very exilerating and I am so excited to be able to help out.
Not too much else new... Kallie is still amazing! She is growing so big too! I love her smiles and her laughs and the way she holds my hand... Sometimes it's still hard to beleive she is here... other times I can't remember my life without her. Very weird, but very awesome. I have found my true calling as a Mother. I have never been happier in my whole life with this sweet little girl in my arms. :D
Rep. Carolyn Maloney is going to reintroduce the Breastfeeding Promotion Act to Congress in June. With a change in leadership in both Houses and a White House that is attuned to work/life balance issues, this year we need to push hard for passage! The Breastfeeding Promotion Act will:
* Add breastfeeding mothers as a protected class under the Civil Rights Act of 1964
* Provide incentives for employers to have private lactation areas for workers
* Create a performance standard for breastpump equipment
* Create tax deductions for pumping equipment
Rep. Maloney and other co-sponsors will hold a press conference on June 3rd at 11:30am on the Cannon Terrace at the Cannon Building on Capitol Hill. Once again we are gathering as large a presence as we can to attend the press conference in support of the bill.
Here is what we need from all who care about this issue:
First, we need you to contact your Rep. in the Congress (find him or her here http://www.house.gov/ ), this week, and ask them to sign on as a cosponsor of the Breastfeeding Promotion Act. The more cosponsors a bill has, the more attention and support it garners. We need all 435 Representatives to know how important this bill is to the 70% of mothers who work and may desire to breastfeed once they go back to work. So call AND email your Representative and ask to speak to a legislative aide today.
Second, we need anyone within driving distance of Washington, D.C. to make plans to join us on June 3rd at 11:30 am on the Cannon Terrace at the Cannon Office Building,Independence Avenue and 1st Street, SE, Washington, DC 20003. You can drive in if you are willing to come early enough to hunt for parking spot south of the Cannon Bldg. or take Metro to the Capitol South station on the Blue/Orange lines. This link shows a picture of the terrace where we will meet: http://www.visitingdc.com/capitol/c
We need pregnant and nursing mother, their supportive partners, grandparents and all your cute little nurslings and toddlers to join us that day for the press conference. At previous introductions of the bill we have had between 100-200 attendees at the press conference. We would like an even bigger showing this year. It is very important that you RSVP to wchappel@myexcel.com with the number of adults/babies/children attending so we can be prepared (and have enough kid friendly snacks/drinks on hand). And so that I can email final details to all the night before the event.
Third, we need everyone who attends to plan on visiting the offices of their Representative in Congress immediately after the press conference, to personally appeal to them to throw their support behind the bill. Don't let the opportunity to have face to face interaction with your legislators pass you by. Last time I went I had a very spirited conversation with a young female legislative aide who clearly didn't understand why her boss should care about this bill. The House of Representatives link above will give you the address of their Washington office. All of the legislative office buildings are clustered near Cannon Office Building. If you call ahead you can make an appointment (I would suggest you make an after lunch appt. time and go get some lunch with your kids after the press conference) to speak to someone.
Lastly, if you have a workplace lactation discrimination story you would like to share at the press conference please email wchappel@myexcel.com. The speakers lineup is being put together now and some mothers may be invited to speak.
This is the year to get this done! Please forward this message to every breastfeeding, parenting, working parent list and group to which you belong, just keep the contact info intact.
http://www.tinyurl.com/breastfeedingact
Breastfeeding/pumping is going awesome! I have concluded I am a lactivist. It is something I have become quite passionate about and love. I attend LLL meetings and am considering being more involved with it.
Kallie is simply awesome! She is becoming more and more interactive everyday. She is laughing out loud more and more now. She plays with litle stuffed animals by petting them and switching them back and forth between her hands and putting them up to her mouth to chew on. lol
I am totally loving being a Mommy. :D My only wish is that I could figure out some way to be a Stay At Home Mom... sadly finances do not agree. :( I keep thinking everyday though. lol
Today is my first day back to work. I am pretty overwhelmed. lol I have actually been too busy this morning to really think about it, but now it is quiet and I miss her terribly. I am trying to be patient awaiting my husband's phone call when they wake up.
My boss informed me that he has elected me for job enhancement, meaning I will be helping another department in addition to my job; namely accounting and I will be an internal auditor. Yippy skippy. It is good though because like he said this only makes me more valuable as an employee, which is good to do right now with things being as slow as they are. Still a little overwhelming as I am just trying to settle back into my own job today. lol And I get to fly solo on a meeting first day back too! Yikes! So much for easing back in. lol
Last night was rough as Kallie was overtired and restless. We laid down to nurse at about 9:30 pm and I tired to move her to her crib at 1:00 am, but she pooped and needed changed then wanted to nurse. Poor girl. Amazingly I'm not as tired as I figured I'd be, even with fighting a stupid sore throat on top of it all. :X
First pumping session at work went well. Total yeild of 5 ounces, plus I got 2 ounces this morning before I left. That's enough for 3.5 bottles! \o/ I am very lucky that a co-worker just got done pumping for her daughter and had an old/unused file room set up for our pumping needs. I was given the key today and it really is a nice little setup, very private and 1,000 times better than the bathroom! lol
So hopefully my supply stays kick ass and all is well. *crosses fingers*
I have been getting contractions in small marathons since the second week of December. They would always peter out and by January I was starting to get severely anxious.
I had another marathon of contractions that petered to nothing on Saturday, January 3. We had my husband's Dad and Stepmom over for dinner and we were all hoping they'd be getting a call later that night or next day of good news as they were getting stronger all throughout dinner. However, Sunday I woke up and they were gone... I felt I needed to rest big time though and slept most of the day Sunday. Thank God I listened to that...
Throughout Monday January 5th, my estimated due date funny enough, contractions were coming on and off throughout the day. Husband and I did some fun natural induction things to try to help really kick the contractions in gear... low and behold it worked! Around 8:00 pm that evening I was really needing to work through the contractions and started laboring all around the house. I would vary with pacing around, stopping to lean on the dining table, kitchen counters, the columns in the living room, whatever was closest... to sometimes sitting and resting, but having to kick stand whenever the next contraction started. They were just too painful sitting.
At this point the contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes, but were only lasting 30-45 seconds in length so I had nothing to do but to continue laboring at home and trying to get them to the magical 5 minutes apart lasting at least a minute long for 2 hours.
I tried to lay down and go to bed late that night, since they still weren't the "textbook" contractions, even though they were intense and I needed to work through them. I could NOT lay down... way way too painful. I ended up setting up a bunch of pillows on the couch so I could semi lounge with my legs resting on the coffee table and I passed out for about an hour, then awoke with a majoy intense contraction... back to pacing and standing through them...
Labored like this all day Tuesday. My Mom came over in the morning after she got off from work and kept me company a little before she laid down for a nap. My Dad then came over that night as we all thought it had to be any hour for the contractions to get to where they needed to be. They were regular and intense... they had gotten to lasting a minute long, but were not getting to the magical number of 5 minutes apart. They were lasting 1 minute to a minute and a half long every 7 minutes... and getting more and more intense, but not closer together.
I was exhausted and frustrated and cried that I could not understand why they would not get closer together. Everything I have read and heard from others said I was definitely in labor, but according to the midwife and hospital rules I was not in active enough labor to be admitted and I had to keep dealing with it at home.
After laboring all day Tuesday with intense long lasting contractions I caved at midnight and called the midwife. I said I knew I wasn't supposed to call til they were 5 minutes apart, but they had been lasting a minute and a half long every 7 minutes for the last 8 hours with no change. I tried a bath and couldn't because of sitting caused way way too much pain. The shower wasn't even taking the edge off anymore. I was exhausted and ready to climb walls from the pain.
She told me the contractions were likely not doing anything because they weren't coming close enough together to change the cervix too much. I started to cry and told her something had to be done I had been at this since Monday night and had been unable to sleep because of how intense the contractions were, no matter what I tried.
She told me she would call in a script for Ambien to try to get me to sleep through them. She didn't really think it was anything at this point... I beleive because at first she thought I was just a first timer not dealing or freaking out or something...
Anyway, so my husband goes out and starts scraping all the ice off the car. We were in the middle of an ice storm. The ride to the pharmacy was scary and awful and I was shaking so bad, tha pharmacist likely thought I was a nutcase, especially when I had to clench the counter and moan. I had to go as we were never at that pharmacy so I needed to be there to show my insurance info. Finally got back home took the Ambien, which was already something I had never ever wanted to do... but I was getting a little desperate at this point since it had been well over 30 hours.
I only got about 2 hours of sleep when I woke up screaming from a contraction that made me literally jump out of bed. My entire body was sort of spazzing out with pain and contractions were right on top of each other, no breaks.
My husband was awesome and I have no idea what I would have done without him. He just sprung right into action. I couldn't even think straight or function at this point. He called the midwife and told her I couldn't talk at all and contractions were right on top of one another and finally she said to go to the hospital.
He brought all the luggage out to the car and came and got me. I was feeling so nautious and grabbed some plastic bags in case I needed to get sick on the way to the hospital. I felt so bad for my husband and wonder how he concentrated on the drive to the hospital. I remember chanting... I don't even know what... but chanting, praying and moaning. It was the longest car ride of my life.
We get there and they check me... I was only 3 cm dialated. I started to cry again and could not understand... I had been laboring for over 30 hours how could I only have been at 3 cm?? You have to be at least 5 cm to be admitted. My midwife saw what kind of pain I was in and how exhausted I was in and likely sensed there was no way I was leaving til I had my baby in my arms. She suggested to give me some stadol. That at this point my body really needed rest and maybe was not working that well because it was so exhausted. So I consented to it.
After the stadol had some time to work she checked me again and said I moved to 4 cm but she could stretch me to 5 cm and was admitting me... I was so releived because had I not gotten to 5 I would have been sent home and I knew there was no way I could have dealt with that.
The stadol really worked and I was able to get up and start really working with the contractions again. My husband, midwife and I walked the halls for a bit. I was hooked up to an IV with the stadol but could walk and just had to wheel the IV stand around, which came in very handy to lean on while doing squats through the contractions. I have never done so many squats in all my life, but that is what felt the best to do at the time, so I did.
After 4 hours of laboring hard, my body started to freak out again and I was shaking uncontrollably. My midwife checked me and I was still only at 5 cm!!! She couldn't beleive it. And now is the time she apologized to me for not taking me more seriously before. She said I was laboring beautifully and was doing awesome working through the contractions, but something was going on that my body was freaking out the way it was with no progression in dialation. She looked at me with such sympathy and said, "I know you really really wanted to avoid an epidural, and you know I would never suggest it unless I thought it was a last resort. Honey, you have been laboring too long and your body is just shutting down and not dialating... you need rest and the epidural could give you that."
I started crying again and felt like a failure for a little bit. My husband was awesome and told me I had nothing to feel like a failure about because I had already been laboring for 40 hours!
The midwife said we can keep it a low dosage to get me to sleep for a bit then we could turn it off to finish the labor once I hit a better dialation and I could deliver without it.
I was scared and all kinds of emotions, but consented. This was around noon on Wednesday January 7. My Mom and sister had arrived at sometime and apparantly the midwife told my Mom as soon as she got there that she just could not see me suffer like that anymore and that I really am a strong person to still be trying to go on the way I was. She sent them to lunch and told me it was going to be a long labor after getting the epidural.
After the epi kicked in I slept through a lot of stuff and it seemed like forever, but apparantly it was only 2 hours. I remember my midwife checking me and I had finally progressed past 5 cm to 6 cm, and then I had a really strong contraction and my water finally broke.
She had checked me again sometime after that when my Mom, sister and husband came back from lunch and discovered what the issue had been all along... My baby was not engaged correctly... she was trying to come shoulder first! And she was face up. She apparantly reached in and shifted her so her head could finally come down.
After that my body started doing the freak out thing again and I was moaning a lot, I figured the epidural had worn off or they had shut it off or something... then I felt like I really had to poop and told the nurse and she ran off to get the midwife.
My midwife checked me and within two hours I had gone from 6 cm to 10 cm!! My midwife said she'd quick go change and then we'd be ready to push the baby out... she was still checking and I guess my daughter had started to descend faster because then my midwife said, "never mind, no time to change I'll just throw a smock on, you're having this baby now!"
The epidural was turned off and I could feel everything. I pushed my daughter out in half an hour. As soon as her head came out, the rest of her just slithered out. I was also really happy that the placenta was right there already too and just one more quick push and it was out... and I felt soooo much better!
My daughter was born at 3:08 pm, weighing 5 pounds 13 ounces and measured at 20 inches in length, after 43 hours of labor. I am pretty sure if she had been engaged correctly I would have gone sooner and not have gone through all this, but we did it! I have come to terms with getting the epidural, and decided that after 40 hours I guess it really isn't a failure. I did get to push her out without it too. I strongly beleive that it kept me from getting a c-section so am very greatful for that. I also did not have a single tear which is awesome and I was very excited about that too.
My daughter was born face up and the cord was wrapped around her neck... but she perked up soon after and when I finally got to have her she latched immediately and fed for 45 minutes for her first feeding!
She is amazing and I am finding myself falling more and more in love with her everyday.
Pics: http://s527.photobucket.com/albums/cc35
At the midwife on Tuesday I was 1 cm dialated and she said everything is looking really good and baby is in perfect position and she does not feel like a big baby, I have a ton of fluid, though.
My swelling has gotten worse in my legs and hands... but this is part of the pre-labor, blood volume goes up even more, and cause more swelling.
My midwife put me on some herbs in hopes of kicking the contractions up a notch... maybe they are working? Each night the contractions have definitely become much more intense... last night the worst yet, lasting like a minute and a half each. Craziness. Kallie seemed to be kicking her way down during each one too.
Praying this means it's soon...
As some of you may remember Christmas was giving me some anxiety. Lately, more so. My heart was breaking so much for Alex. I can't imagine being a young child and being so bounced around on what is supposed to be a happy day... A child should never have to cry on Christmas.
The custody orders my husband had stated Christmas day be split in half at noon, changing every year who gets Christmas morning.
I tried mentioning it to him a few times that I thought that wasn't the best arrangement and as sucky as it is not to see your child on Christmas... think of what it must be like for her to be bounced around sooo much on one day. A good portion of that day going to traveling!
I never really pushed it... then for some reason yesterday it was like some magical light bulb went off over everyone's head. My Mom and I were talking about it while Don was working on his car and my Mom remembered the Bible story of the women who were fighting over a baby... they went to the King and the King decreed to cut the child in half so both women could have it. The real Mother spoke up right away to not cut the child in half but to let the other woman have it so it could remain whole and safe. The King knew instantly that this was the real Mother.
It just really hit home for me about the sacrifices parents will make for their children. Alex never asked for her situation and her parents should suck up their feelings and deal with the situation instead of causing so much stress for her.
So last night at dinner I brought it up to Don again... one big thing that had not even dawned on him yet... This year we would be picking her up at noon... from her Aunt and Uncles house after she had Christmas morning with her cousins. He knew immediately what that would mean. Of course she would not want to leave her cousins after opening presents and playing with them. How miserable and awful would that be for her?? Then she would be miserable for a good portion of the rest of the day and it would just be stressful for everyone... most of all Alex. She has been having a lot of separation anxiety lately leaving anyone, most of all when she has been having a good time playing with kids.
At first he still said, "no way am I giving up seeing my daughter on Christmas..."
Then I told him the Bible story... all of a sudden his eyes filled with tears and he looked at me and asked if we had plans for Christmas Eve yet.. I said no, and he said we better think of something because he was calling his ex and saying they need to come up with a better arrangement but that Alex should not have to split up her Christmas day and he would give it up this year so she could stay and play with her cousins all day.
I just started to cry. I know how hard that was for him... but it made me fall even more in love with him. And I told him how proud I was of him and what a good Father he is and how much Alex will appreciate it when she is old enough to understand.
At first ex didn't want to go with it either, as the proposed plan was to switch Christmas Eve days and Christmas days every other year... then that magical lightbulb returned and she said... "oh! You are right! I can't imagine trying to pick Alex up next year and taking her away from her little sister... no way she is going to want to leave her little sister on Christmas! As much as I hate it... I know it's the best idea for Alex."
So that is what we are doing. This year we will get her Tuesday night, do our Christmas Christmas Eve morning and Alex will be picked up after dinner that night to be with her Mom the rest of the evening and Christmas day... next year we will get Christmas Eve night and all of Christmas day.
Nicole (Alex's Mom) actually thanked me for thinking of Alex and what would be best for her.
It is sad knowing Alex won't be here for Christmas dinner again... but I am really happy knowing she will have a great Christmas with her family and have lots of fun playing with her cousins and not have to be put into a stressful situation trying to split her day up.
And already plans are falling into place for a really great Christmas Eve with her. My parents are going to come down early morning and we will all have breakfast together and then open presents. I am just really glad it is all working out...
I seriously thought I was in pre-labor Friday-Saturday.
I started getting Braxton Hicks around 1:00 pm Friday. Didn't think much of it, this has been happening more and more frequently. I continued on through work, went home, got in the bath and read some and ate some dinner.
They were still coming, but nothing too serious and definitely not close together so I still wasn't paying much mind and started putting some more songs on my Ipod while I was waiting for my husband to get home from work so we could go shopping.
7:30 pm... okay... contractions were starting to get more noticeable now and now I'm like, hmm... this is a new record for BH's... the longest I got them for before was like 3 hours... this is 6.5 hours!
Okay Don finally gets home and we are off shopping to get more things for the hospital bag, which was planned before. lol around 9:30 contractions start getting more intense... by 10:30 I'm having to pause through some of them and can't think at all. Okay... maybe I should start timing these...
They still were not anything regular... they were coming in sporadic intervals of 10, 5 and 3 minutes apart, averaging only 35 seconds in length.
Got home from shopping and soaked in the tub again... finally by 2 am they were not as intense and I crashed. When I woke up at 8 am they were still there, but were only coming about 20 minutes or so... this continued for most of the weekend with some hours off here and there.
This morning the crampy feeling is still coming and going, but nothing of too much note. The intense band of pressure low in my pelvic area is never going away. lol I am so ready to meet my little girl and be done with this crazy waiting and guessing of the contraction game. lol
My midwife also strongly feels that I am not going to make it to January! :D She told me pick a date and start focusing on it and sending vibes to baby. Husband an I chose the 28th. *nods*
She said with the described changes in the braxton hicks it sounds really promising... I have gotten really intense, low and crampy contractions for several hours every night this week!! It's been a really long week. lol
Yesterday I did some shopping at the mall and had to collapse in a bench for awhile because the contractions started and every step I took was a very sharp pinchy sensation straight through my cervix. Ouchies. lol Sitting was happy though.
I'm so incredibly excited. Oo! Also, I know so many first time Mom's that went early instead of late recently! The other midwife at the practice I go to was due Dec. 18th... she had her baby Monday, 10 days early. Another lady in my due date club is 37 weeks today and in labor now. :D It's just so exciting!!
My major goal for the weekend is getting the hospital bag packed. lol *nods*
Almost there....
I thought I was having my review yesterday, but when I got to the conference room and my boss flicked on the lights, it was decorated for a baby shower and several co-workers were all grinning at me.
I cried. :look lol
It was so incredibly unexpected and a big shocking surprise and very very heart warming. :D Got more cute clothes! Needed more newborn sleepers too, which I received, so that is awesome! Got a great tummy-time playmat, and the softest bunny plush I have ever touched in my whole life! Even Don was cuddling it last night! lol
I ended up taking the lot over to my parents house last night to show them. Got to nap from the time I got there at 4:30 pm to 7:00 pm when Mom got up. It was sooo lovely!
Feeling much better today with adding in the extra nap yesterday. *nods*
Have a midwife appointment in an hour and a half. Can't wait! I always leave my midwife feeling very refreshed, happy and excited. Though I get test results back today for Group B strep and the bloodwork with the high blood pressure stuffs... but I am optimistic figuring if I haven't heard anything yet then all must be well. *fingers crossed*
I so can't wait for Friday! So much I want to get done this weekend... hope we get through it all. lol I want to get our tree this weekend, clean out the downstairs closet, get all the items needed for the hospital bag, and finish Christmas shopping, which also includes getting what we need for the family Christmas party next weekend and my cousin's wedding shower that is also next weekend... there is never really down time anymore. lol
I am getting less and less sleep, without fail contractions seem to start around 1:30 am every night now and I'm tossing and turning or getting up to walk around... then my alarm goes off at 6 am for work. I am not a happy camper and am dragging badly. I can't afford to take off of work though, and don't want the midwife to pull me because then I'd lose the precious time after the baby is born that is needed too. America's maternity benefits BLOW!!!! :| :| :|
Almost there.....
At least I was smart and grabbed the heating pad to curl up with at work today. Wish I had a cot too. lol
I started at 7:30 this morning... it is now almost quarter after 8:00 am... I have NOTHING to do. *cries* And my one website won't load! *cries*
It's going to be another painfully long day... I knew I should have just said fuck it and brought a book. :look
Two more weeks...hopefully. *crosses fingers*
I'm so excited that my midwife loves Ina May too. :) She was very excited to hear I was reading her. They have both studied midwifery in the same places too, namely Germany and Austria.
Been working on my birth plan a little today... hitting some "writers blocks" though. I'm thinking we will likely go over it at our childbirth class this weekend though. But I wanted to get some of my primary thoughts together.
You know you are getting close when babies are starting to come.
I only have 3 weeks til I hit my 37th week mark, which is considered term. Baby will come when she wants to of course. lol But yeah... just wow!
Next week is one... the following week is shortened due to Thanksgiving, the following is a 4 day week with one day for shut down...
Then 2 full weeks, then it is Christmas. Holy crap.
We have only 3 pays before the due date left... My husband keeps asking me to wait to buy things... wait til when? When the baby is here? :blink I don't think he realizes how close we are. 3 pay periods... one of which needed to finish Christmas shopping, the other 2 will have rent and car insurance pulled from it... that doesn't leave much. He is banking everything on a bonus check he is supposed to get the second week of December... I keep picturing the Griswald Christmas bonus. :P
I'm freaking out some. :-O
I am hoping Kallie does not decide to cook too long past the due date. lol I'm still feeling very strongly about Jan. 6th. *crosses fingers*
At my midwife appt. yesterday they said I am looking wonderful and I am still measuring spot on! \o/ Kallie is very active. She has her 10 movements in typically 5-20 minutes. If you feel movement you should feel at least 10 in an hour, so she is doing awesome.
She has been head down for almost a month now. And yesterday my midwife said she is positioned really good. :D
I'm getting ridiculously excited. I can't wait for the shower in two weeks so I can finish getting organized and ready. I want everything done by Christmas which I will be 39 weeks on! :-O
Then I cried out, "Why are you pushing so hard?" He looked sort of shocked and said, "I wasn't... that was her, she grabbed my finger! I felt her little fingers around mine!!"
It was so neat!!
In other news... had the maternity tour over the weekend. I am soooo happy I am with a midwife. Hospital policy doesn't let you eat during labor unless you are with the midwives, because they do their own thing separate from the hospital and this was confirmed by the tour guide... "you will not be able to eat during labor. There is a snow cone machine on the floor and you may use that. Unless you are with the midwife practice, they have their own policies and allow their clients to eat."
I doubt I'm going to want a full course meal or anything during... lol but if my sugar starts crashing I will need more than a snow cone. :P So that is happy. :D
My daughter will be born in the month of change, history and hope and I cannot even begin to put words to it all.
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